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Learn how to help and not hurt the recovery process. That’s because codependency is a relationship trait and condition that’s independent of the substance use itself. In other words, it continues even when the substance use has stopped. If the partner living with SUD hasn’t found healthy ways to cope with the trauma or PTSD, then it could begin to affect them in negative ways.
These fears will come up eventually and should be addressed as you work on your marriage. However, some people may have difficulty verbalizing their concerns. Design For Recovery is committed to helping you or your loved one live a fulfilling life free from alcohol and drug addiction. Below you can find out what to expect when you contact us for help. Join our newsletter to be part of a community of people with shared experiences.
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The bottom line is, enabling gives them a false sense of security, an illusion of a safety net, and keeps the alcoholic from getting and accepting treatment. Often, a successful rehab will help your spouse not only stop drinking, but also heal some of their inner wounds to the extent that a fuller, more successful marriage is your reward. To do this, you will both need help learning and practicing new, positive behaviors. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAA) has published an alcoholism screening test that can help you and your spouse assess their drinking. Because of the difficult aspects of substance use recovery, the partner in recovery may not initially have the energy to commit to healing the relationship. In addition, families can be understood as a system.
In many cases, these actions wind up enabling the addict, offering help that perpetuates the addiction rather than stopping it. It is difficult to deal with an alcoholic spouse or loved one. You will find yourself frustrated and feeling hopeless. But there is hope for your relationship and for your spouse’s recovery. Relationships can survive the impact of alcoholism, but they are forever changed.
Hope and vulnerability are not options for the spouse of an active alcoholic. Self-preservation does not afford the luxury of trust. In a relationship, sobriety isn’t the end of anything. It is only the beginning of a long, arduous, rarely successful trudge to save the marriage.
When you are ready to take action, we can help you at Gratitude Lodge in Southern California. Creating strong, healthy bonds again is possible. With hard work, patience, and love (for yourself and others), reconnecting with the people you care about most and building new, stronger relationships is totally marriage changes after sobriety possible. Is your spouse ready to go into recovery but doesn’t know where to begin? Contact Casa Palmera today, where our compassionate and experienced team can help you and your partner get the help you—and your marriage—need. Instead, it’s best to treat the marriage as a new relationship.
I want to know the unknowable.” Those are the answers I wish my wife had given when I asked her what more she wanted from me when I quit drinking. But she didn’t share that answer because she didn’t understand it, either. To Sheri, my commitment to sobriety was like promising not to pour gasoline on the charred remains of our house after it had already burned to the ground. Sometimes you don’t get to rebound from disaster.
Even if your partner stops using drugs and alcohol, if the codependency itself isn’t addressed, this dynamic will continue to affect the relationship. If your partner is recovering from addiction, the process can come with challenges, and it may take time to cope with those challenges, but you’re not alone. Design for Recovery empowers men struggling with addiction by providing 24/7 support, mentorship, and teaches them how to live healthy, fulfilling lives. It can be easy to overlook your own needs while supporting your partner. It’s helpful to have someone to talk to and process your thoughts and emotions with, so you can also effectively help your partner in their journey.
Trust is a fundamental part of every relationship, and it often takes a big hit during periods of substance use. Rebuilding lost trust can be a priority when repairing connections during recovery. Go on dates, be completely honest with one another, and try to treat the marriage as a new relationship. Understand that rebuilding your marriage will be a long and challenging process, and keep your expectations reasonable. Sobriety means you’re as equipped as you can be to manage any outcome that comes your way.
